I lie there, on my bed, wondering what it'd be like - meeting my her, courting her, asking her to marry me, our wedding, our life, our kids. I know it's not a guy thing to think about his wedding but I can't help but think about it.
As I wait for something I so desire. Something I can pour out my love to second to Christ. As I think, my desire for my own wife and family (specifically a daughter) grows stronger. It has just dawned on me that the phrase "a watched pot never boils" plays a big role into this. The reason this desire is so strong is because God never intended us to be alone. But mainly may be due to the fact that I am not focussing on God. I desire so much that it this loneliness hurts. The One I claim to trust will give it to me when the time is right. Just like watching the pot, it will boil. But it seems to take forever. Get your mind occupied on God and eventually, your pot will be boiling before you know it.
I'd also like to give this analogy as well as to why it's best not to fantasize your marriage and life with your future spouse. Think about when you're an hour away from home, and its lunch time. You don't need to spend money eating out, and you're starving. The smell of the restaurants entice you and make you hungrier and its hard to not focus on your hunger. Thinking about the kind of food you'll eat and how it will satisfy you will also entice you and agitate your hunger. Think about something else and you will hardly notice your hunger.
Now I shall explain this analogy: You're starving to be with someone that you can love passionately. Seeing other people with their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is like smelling food when starving. Seeing others enjoying themselves with each other makes your wait worse. But they are no different from the broke people giving in to eat at a restaurant, and spending money they don't have. They gave in to their longing and in reality, they may not actually be as happy as they appear. They may go home, fight over the phone, struggle, etc. Don't think about your marriage and future spouse, it will further agitate your hunger to be with someone, and you may give in when God wasn't ready for you. Think about this story, some people were attempting an escape from a Prisoner of War camp (POW). They dug a tunnel through the dirt but came 20 ft. short of the safe cover of the woods. They sent one man through and when the guard turned his back, the man that came through would pull a string to let the others know it was safe. One guard happened to come close to the whole, the next person eventually grew impatient and decided he was going to check it out and go himself. That was his last move. The moral of the story is wait on God, you may not see what's going one or way He's saying to wait - maybe you spouse is going through the fires of life to be mature. But if you don't listen, there may be dire consequences.
Though it's hard to not think about food when starving, or think about how happy you'll be when you're joined with your significant other. Try not to think about it all the time. Something I need to start doing. It's a hard thing. But the right thing is never easy. Keep your eye on God and eventually, you two will run into each other, due to chasing Him.
In conclusion, keep this one thing in mind, people look so hard to try and find the right person that they neglect trying to be the right person. Focus on yourself (not your own needs, your own personality. Thus you don't become selfish) and develop the fruits of the spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23). In doing this you will stumble on that right one who is meant for you from Him.
Thank you for reading. Comments welcome.