Mother Guilt
I have a little girl who is almost two, and since her birth, I have become accustomed to a unique affliction known as Mommy Guilt. It did not exist before I had my daughter, but it manifested itself along with her.
I’m told it’s common for mothers to second guess themselves, particularly with our first born children. Here is a list of things I’ve worried about:
* Is she eating enough/too much?
* Have I done irreparable damage to her by letting her eat chocolate cake at her first birthday party?
* Is she sleeping not enough/too much?
* Is she meeting her milestones at the right times?
* Am I feeding her the correct ratio of nutrients?
* Is her behaviour normal or have I done something wrong?
* What if she didn’t nurse for long enough?
* Did her traumatic birth damage her?
* Is our bond strong enough?
Frankly, I could go on. These are the things I’ve thought of in the last sixty seconds. I guess it’s a consequence of embarking on a new job (motherhood) with no training or qualifications.
Actually, we do have an instruction manual, which gives us a few parenting tips. Here is a well-known passage that sums up our parenting responsibilities pretty well:
* Love is patient, love is kind: yes, even when toddler is smearing paint (or poo!) up the wall.
* Love is not jealous or boastful or proud: okay, but my child really is the smartest, most beautiful, most talented child in the world!
* Love does not demand its own way: a toddler will, loudly
* Love is not irritable and keeps no record of wrongs: even when frustrated because toddler has smacked me in the face again?
* Love rejoices when the truth wins out: ah, so that’s where my expensive lipstick is! Please don’t try to flush it down the toilet again, darling.
* Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance: my heart walks around clutched in the fist of my daughter, and I hope she knows that I will never give up on her and never lose faith in her. I will teach her the meaning of hope and will stand with her through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13
Comment
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Comment by Julie Cave on September 21, 2010 at 5:53pm -
I think it is a result of wanting to do the very best job I can and knowing that I'll still make mistakes. But now in her second year, I've relaxed much more and realise that motherhood is a job for which I need God's strength to see me through. And I have the greatest parenting manual at my fingertips - the Bible!
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Comment by Robyn Bush on September 20, 2010 at 6:02pm -
I have had two children who are now grown up and have their own children, but you know, I still from time to time have a Mummy guilt, I think if any Mum takes motherhood seriously there will always be this problem, but I have also lent of God and He has been my rock throughout my life. Hopefully in talking with Him He will be able to give you the comfort you need and from reading your comment you are a good Mum, just keep on talking to Jesus give Him your problems and I am sure from my own experience you will be even a better Mum. God Bless
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Comment by Amy J Todd on September 17, 2010 at 2:35pm
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I can relate, it happened to me too. I thought I learned it from my mom, I didn't know it was a common occurrence.
What I did to resolve it, once I saw it was happening to me, I looked at myself. I make good decisions and I'm doing my best, my best is really good. And I've always prayed for my sons to have everything they need. I have to have confidence that God will do what his word says and provide and protect my sons. Praise God in all things and have confidence that God knows what he is doing and has a good plan for each one of us. I pray for God to guide me and give me wisdom to teach my sons how to have a beautiful relationship with him. God is so good and has never let me or my sons down. He shows us in so many ways how is he a part of our life and loves us. God does not want us to be anxious but cast our cares on him. Our children can feel the anxiety if we carry it around and they may also carry around also. If we study the bible, then Pray and ask for God's help. He will always answer.
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